Jiraiya discovers KakaIru
by Power Of Funk
Summary: Jiraiya passed by the Onsen one day and saw something wonderful. Kakshi was pleased with the result, but Iruka gets angry. KakaIru. Cheese warning. R&R plz! If asked, will improve and add make longer, and may write sequel: Icha Icha Yaoi I wish i was dead
1. Chapter 1

KakaIru Icha Icha 

Jiraiya was walking along peacefully one day, thinking about how popular and famous his precious Icha Icha was, when he "accidentally" walked in on a hot KakaIru make-out session, and realised that there was a whole new relatively untapped audience out there, and he had just found his muse, but he would edit it a little to make it a bit more Icha Icha style…

Chapter 1- A new discovery… 

Jiraiya was just leaving the onsen, where he had been doing hard work all throughout the long day, seriously, he enjoyed his work but it was hard work perving on that many lovelies throughout the day, all at the same time, and was just leaving when he heard a moan from behind the fence that lines the springs.

Now Jiraiya, being the super-perv he was, instantly had mental images if smexy Yuri girls doing ungodly things to each other in the hot steamy atmosphere of the bathhouse. So, naturally, he found a small gap in between the wooden planks that made up the fence, and began to perv once more.

But of course, as you may have guessed, if you are a clever young KakaIru fan, he got quite a shock to say the least.

Firstly, he had not in fact been peaking into the female section of the onsen as he had originally intended, and had in fact passed it just a few metres back, and was now peering into the male section.

Now, Jiraiya was not a gay man, I mean, he was open minded, but not even really bi, so his second surprise was to find that he was now the most entertained he had been all day.

His third, and perhaps biggest, shock, was exactly who was doing the steamy activities.

Kakashi was not so surprising, after all, he was a jounin, and they were all somewhat… _unhinged_, and for gds sake, the man did walk around 24/7 reading porn!!! _'heh heh, porn that I WROTE!!!_' smirked Jiraiya briefly, and really, it was common knowledge that he had had a huge crush on the smexy man, that he was now snogging the potato out of, for the longest time… but the other man… he had never thought that he would return the feelings… yet…

Here was Iruka, the _supposedly_ "mild mannered" chuunin sensei, groping a well-known pervert, with vigour, I might add, I the middle of a _PUBLIC PLACE_, where anyone could walk in on them at any time, or perverts could perv on them through the handily position perving holes in the fence that had seen oh so many perverted perversions over it's perverted years… **(A/N:I like the word perverted. Can you tell?)**... Perverted fence…

'Wow! Those two are really goin' at it!' commented Jiraiya in his bamboozled mind.

Then, miraculously, Jiraiya had an epiphany, one that did not involve naked ladies!

He had never really thought about it before, but he had only ever written cough romance cough novels about men and women before, but yet at least half of Konoha's male population was gay.. meaning, that there was a whole audience out there, relatively untapped, just waiting for Jiraiya to write them there own brand of **PORN!!!**

'How had no-one ever thought of it before?!' he inwardly marvelled, 'It was BRILLIANT!', and sadly for our favourite mild mannered chuunin teacher, and his lecherous companion, they were about to become a major source of inspiration…


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2- The result… 

It was a warm summer evening and the un was low in the sky, the light creating as halo effect around his head as Jiraiya sat in the dango bar, happily chewing on the remnants of his plate of the sweet dumplings, silently congratulating himself on finishing his latest book: "Icha Icha: Yaoi version", **(A/N: Over used I know, but I mean what else would he call it?)**, and leered down at the unknowingly valuable document.

When this it the shelves he was gonna' be so rich! He's rich already but so what? There's no harm in being any richer, right?

Suddenly, something whooshed in front of him with great speed, the force of the sudden gust of wind knocking him from the bench so that he landed with his back on the floor. "Hey that hurt you know, and I'm not getting any younger!" he screamed at his 'attacker'. Yeah his back hurt but more than anything, his pride had been hurt, he, "The great Jiraiya", "The legendary toad Sannin", "the Pervy-sag-" 'Damn that Naruto for getting that into his head….' Anyway, HE, of all people had been caught off guard so easily just because he was thinking about how rich his new book was going to make him- WAIT! The book! Where was it? He had had the finished document right there in front of him, and sitting up now, he couldn't see it anywhere!

Whoever had just 'attacked' him had stolen his precious new Icha Icha, and were going to publish it and get all the credit and then Jiraiya would be poor and die of aids, and- Ok, maybe he was getting a bit carried away and after all, he was still extremely rich, but he needed to get that book back, and he needed to get it back now, before that person read it and told the worlds of it's secrets…

Meanwhile… 

Kakashi was, by now, perched in a tree somewhere in Konoha's woods, his hands trembling almost violently with excitement as he savoured the moment as he opened the pristine document to it's first page.

'OMG! OMG! OMG!', he was screaming in his mind, wanting this moment to be preserved forever. He was as happy as a Yaoi fangirl at who had come downstairs on that special December morn to find that Father Christmas had brought her the ACTUAL MEMBERS of Akatsuki, who were now all having their own gay relations of an explicit nature with their respective partners right in front of her very eyes… **(A/N: Just to put it in disguise, as it is hard to TRULY imagine how Kakashi feels about Icha Icha for us… **_**comparatively**_** normal people…)**.

It was now deep into the night, as he had come fairly far out so as not to be disturbed. He had been spying on Jiraiya to see if he could get a glimpse of the new Icha Icha that he happened to know that he was writing, not that he was stalking the writer or anything, just a glimpse, that's all, and then he could go to bed happy, but then he had seen what it had said on the cover: Yaoi edition.

It was at this moment, that Kakashi knew his destiny, and, as you may have guessed already, it was to read this book before ANYONE else. This was the reason of his birth, and his entire life up until this point, and NO-ONE was going to stop him, so he had quickly tackled Jiraiya and stolen away his love with the ease of a fangirl sneaking up on a gay pairing to take photos. **(A/N: For those of you who don't know who have not read "Itachi's interesting hobby", fangirls, when approaching a gay pairing, can have more stealth available to them that even the most talented and experienced ninja.)**

The tree he was currently sat in did not have much foliage, and he was fairly close to the top, so that he could sit comfortably, but at the same time have plenty of light from the full moon to read by.

As a result, as soon as he opened the latest volume of the infamous novel, hit face was lit up, as the moonlight reflected off it's pages, making it seem ethereal, perfect, holy.

He lifted the paragon to his exited features and began to read…


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3- Jiraiya is dead!**

"K-Kakashi! What's wrong?" Iruka exclaimed as a slightly dishevelled Kakashi stumbled through the door, he looked as though he was in that half dead state that you enter before suddenly bursting into a fearsome rage.

Iruka, knowing that Kakashi was a super ninja, did not want this happening in his pleasantly floral living room! **(A/N: Only joking! Iruka is a very MANLY uke…! But not butch!)**

Being the caring boyfriend he was, he began checking Kakashi for any wounds, worried that maybe he had been in a fight or something, and knowing that Kakashi was never the type to go to a hospital unless unconscious or literally dragged there, but, finding none, he forced himself to calm down as he was gently pushed on to the sofa by Kakashi.

Kakashi took a deep breath.

Iruka prepared himself. This was the calm before the storm. As Kakashi inhaled that breath, Iruka knew his life had come to an end, or at least he would be deaf after it, or tired… or horny… hey anything could happen!

Iruka prepared himself for the worst, but he was not expecting what came.

"Iruka! Iruka! Iruka!" Kakashi chanted like a retarded toddler, a broad grin plastered across his face, so huge that the contours of his mouth were obvious, even below his mask.

"Erm…What?" murmured Iruka, more than a little surprised at Kakashi's sudden outburst.

"The best thing ever that could ever have happened ever EVER **EvErRrRr**!!!" he shrieked.

Iruka, now quite worried for the sanity of his lover, pressed the palm of his right hand to the scarecrow's forehead to check for a fever, whilst looking into his eyes to check the pupils for dilation. He could be on drugs you know.

Finding no evidence of either, he decided to humour his lover. 'Hm…" he thought, 'Now… what would get Kakashi so exited…? The only time I saw him even nearly this exited was when I agreed to go on a date with him, and that time when… OF COURSE!'

"A new volume of Icha Icha?!" cried Iruka in triumph, so pleased with his own success for some reason that he completely forgot to add the disapproving tone to his voice that he usually used when speaking of the "graphic novel"; also failing to notice a sense of foreboding that was slowly building in the back of his mind…

"Aww! My little Ruka-ru!" Iruka frowned at the nickname; it made him sound like a kangaroo! "You know me so well!" He continued, completely oblivious to the sour look that was now plastered onto Iruka's fine features.

Iruka was pouting now, nut stopped when he saw Kakashi pull something out of his flak jacket. It was white as snow an innocent looking, not at all like any Icha Icha book he had ever seen. Usually they were decorated with flamboyantly bright colours, a some sassy woman, and of course, the sign on the back that warned children to stay away…

Then, Iruka realised what it was. It didn't look normal, because it wasn't a published book. He could tell now from the deceptively innocent cover, that it was manuscript… but how did…?

"Kakashi! You stole that from Jiraiya-sama didn't you?!" Iruka said, using his "scary teacher" voice that worked oh so well on the under tens… and Kakashi.

"N-… Wait-… Well-… Not quite…" he trailed off pathetically.

"How ca you, _not quite have stolen it _Hatake Kakashi?" Iruka interrogated, his voice now reaching dangerous volumes.

Kakashi, quailing under Iruka's malicious glare muttered something about "…only fair…"

"WHJAT DO YOU ME-… Wait, what do you mean _only fair_?" he paused in his rant, and shot Kakashi a suspicious, yet generally curious glance.

"Well you see, I was walking along when I saw an old merchant selling pumpkin pies, and-"

"Get on with it Kakashi…" said Iruka in a dangerously low voice.

"Well anyway. I saw Jiraiya at a dango bar, and so I went up to him to ask him bout when the next Icha Icha edition was coming out, but I saw that he had a bunch of paper, so naturally, I assumed that it was the latest edition of Icha Icha, so I snuck up on him to have a sneaky peak, and-… well… heh heh heh, he's branched out a bit… snicker "

"What do you mean…?" Iruka replied suspiciously, before a deceptively pure white manuscript was launched at his face. "Aaaarrrggg!" he screamed, before all his breath left him at the sight of the title, "Icha Icha: _yaoi version" _he read aloud.

OK, he had to admit that even he was slightly interested in this. His thoughts were broken by an annoyingly familiar voice: "It gets better. more snickering Read it."

So, with that, Kakashi left the room, still snickering and beaming as though he had just eaten a pound of magic mushrooms…

Iruka tentatively opened the book, and began to read, after all, it couldn't be that bad? Could it?

Several days later, they found Jiraiya dead in a pond.

**(A/N: Not really)**

Naruto was quite confused however, when he was searching for the perverted hermit to train him, and was told but an evilly grinning Iruka, very terrifying in itself, that he should try the hospital,

Even Naruto, who is as dense as a dense thing, thought that there was _something _odd about that grin, though he couldn't quite work out what it was…

When he arrived at the hospital however, her was told by a nickering Tsunade, who was trying, and failing, badly, a half-assed attempt to keep a strait face in Jiraiya's time of pain, informed him that "That Damn pervert" could not be visited right now as "yesterday, he was attacked by an enraged Dolphin snicker "

Sadly for our poor young future Hokage, he became even more confuse by this, and gave up.

He decided to go pester Sasuke, but on the way, he had thought that he had seen Kakashi, weeping pathetically over a pile of shredded paper, but when he had doubled back, there was nothing to be seen, but one lone piece of paper, gliding on the wind.

Naruto used his cough fearsome cough ninja skills to catch it, and read '"No scarecrow, we can't! It is forbidden!" he whispered, quivering at the touch of the other on his-'

Thankfully, this is where the oh so awesome, yet oh so cheesy story ended, and poor Naruto's innocent young mind was spared from Jiraiya's perverted perversions of pervasion.

'What was that about?' thought Naruto, now a little bit disturbed, but still naive and foolish.

But he did not worry his pretty little head about it for long, before running off to find Sasuke. 'After all,' he thought, 'he said that if I got there early today he'd let me join his moped gang!!! YAY!!!'

(A/N: WTF?! SASUKE HAS A MOPED GANG NOW…? Anyway… that as much as I can be bothered to write of this story so there you go. I think it was kind of rubbish so review it and tell me how to make it better plz!?)

Shiny things rock!!!


End file.
